Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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