Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's official drugs can't kill me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
