Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
