If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
honey bunches of taint.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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