New low: just hacked my moms facebook
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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