Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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