therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
