i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
