yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
