Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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