Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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