she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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