Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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