Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize