I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
