Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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