Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
