so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
