I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
