I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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