i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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