creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
