he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
