The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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