So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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