What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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