pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I cut my penus on the lid.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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