I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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