you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
