Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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