singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
