I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
