you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
