Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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