Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
