Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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