fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
