puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
True college students do jello shots in the library
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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