Your face is a jimmy john
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
