Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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