AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
