We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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