I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
