If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Holy shit dude........stairs
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