I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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