Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
