I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
