I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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