Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
should my penis look like a turkey
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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