just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She even gives head with a lisp.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
