Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just found a bag of teeth...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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