Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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