dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
