My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
