Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
