its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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