She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
