Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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