Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
