I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
