So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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